Domestic violence can happen to anyone. Please know that domestic violence does not always include physical abuse and even without physical abuse, danger can still exist.
Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. Domestic violence is also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse, dating violence or relationship abuse.
You may be experiencing physical abuse if your partner has done or repeatedly does any of the following tactics of abuse:
Sexually abusive methods of retaining power and control include an abusive partner:
Sexual coercion
Sexual coercion lies on the ‘continuum’ of sexually aggressive behavior. It can vary from being egged on and persuaded, to being forced to have contact. It can be verbal and emotional, in the form of statements that make you feel pressure, guilt, or shame. You can also be made to feel forced through more subtle actions. For example, an abusive partner:
Even if your partner isn’t forcing you to do sexual acts against your will, being made to feel obligated is coercion in itself. Dating someone, being in a relationship, or being married never means that you owe your partner intimacy of any kind.
You may be in an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship if you partner exerts control through:
Economic or financial abuse is when an abusive partner extends their power and control into the area of finances. This abuse can take different forms, including an abusive partner:
Using Threats and Coercion
Intimidation
Digital abuse is the use of technologies such as texting and social networking to bully, harass, stalk or intimidate a partner. Often this behavior is a form of verbal or emotional abuse perpetrated online. You may be experiencing digital abuse if your partner:
You never deserve to be mistreated, online or off. Remember:
“Abuse Defined.” The National Domestic Violence Hotline, 20 Sept. 2018, www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/.
“Red Flags of Abuse.” NNEDV, 2020, nnedv.org/content/red-flags-of-abuse/.
Domestic violence can be experienced and perpetrated by young people. This is also known as dating violence, teen dating violence, or dating abuse. 69.5% of women and 53.6% of men who have been physically or sexually abused or stalked by a dating partner first experienced abuse between the ages of 11-24.
( Breiding, M.J., Chen J., Black, M.C. (2014). Intimate Partner Violence in the United States — 2010. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.)
The assumption that leaving a person that chooses to use domestic violence will increase the safety of the survivor and their children is not always accurate. The survivor may have been abused or threatened with abuse, including death, if they leave. Threats and risk may extend to children, family and friends as well.
La Luz is a culturally specific and faith-based program serving Latina/Latino/Latinx survivors.
The Cheyenne and Arapaho Tribal domestic violence program is a culturally specific program serving Native American survivors.
Did you know you can Text 911 in Canadian County?
La Luz is a culturally specific and faith-based program serving Latina/Latino/Latinx survivors.
The Cheyenne and Arapaho Tribal domestic violence program is a culturally specific program serving Native American survivors.
Domestic violence dynamics and the behaviors of the person choosing to be abusive are ever changing. We can work alongside survivors on individualized, careful planning and ongoing evaluation of changing risks, level of external support, resources, and the options of safe pathways toward safety and healing.
If domestic violence has happened to you or someone you care about, we can help.
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